thinkers wife

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Posts by thinkers wife

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  32

  funny old life isnt it....

  by Deacon in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was just looking out the window, as it would happen a middle aged woman, or perhaps a young woman worn out with her life walked past.

  she stopped on the edge of the mall where my wifes office is, and sat on a bench outside the window.

  on close look, she couldnt have been more than late 30's, but probably only 35.. she sat for a while just looking at the ground in front of her, her face just exhibiting that blank look of the world weary.

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  thinkers wife

  Dearest Deacon,
  I read your post yesterday and had to give it some deep thought before I replied.
  You described so eloquently how I feel, and from the replies, how many others feel as well.
  It has been a year since I da'ed myself. And you know what, I still cry. I still become angry when I read things. I started to read Crises of Conscience months ago, I had to stop because I became so angry I just had to give it a rest. I am now reading a book called, "Witnesses of Jehovah", by some people who were in the "truth" for twenty two years. I am in the beginning where they go into the history of the society, I am almost through Knorr's reign. Guess what? I am angry again.
  It hurts me so deeply to read of the inaccuracies, the lies, the cover-ups. It hurts me that my family and friends are still under the powerful trickery of such an organization. It hurts me that I was gullible enough to waste thirty eight years of my life, to stay in a seventeen year abusive relationship, to give up child bearing because of the abuse. To think about all the rotten things the elders heaped upon me and I allowed it. It hurts to realize that I know longer have a set and sure pattern of belief. It hurts to know that unwittingly I directed others to this organization and they are still stuck in it.
  But, the best part about it is the gradual freedom I am coming to realize. The new thoughts I am allowed to consider without guilt. The new horizons that have opened up. The wonderful life I have with Thinker that would not have been possible if I had stayed in.
  I thought that I didn't have choices when I was a Witness. Now the possiblities are endless!!! It is scary but exciting all at the same time.
  So Deacon, cry, because you are mourning a great loss. And then wipe your eyes and look at your new vista. Get up everyday and breathe in the clean air of your new life. And thank the Higher power that you were able to have your eyes opened up, albeit unwillingly. Be thankful for each day of freedom you have been given as a gift. For it is a gift!!
  TW
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  28

  Incorrect to use the term "Jehovah's Witne...

  by TR in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm sure this has been brought up before, but it gives me the willies(brrrrrr!

  ) to say the...jw words.

  since i don't believe they are god's witnesses, then i can't say the words.

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  thinkers wife

  OMG, the other day I have to confess. It just slipped out, I called them Jehovah's to Thinker. We just cracked up!!
  TW
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  22

  I'm going to be a father!

  by dedalus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been a sorry excuse of a poster lately, so i'm not really in tune with what's going on with the board, but i still know enough people here to make an announcement: foxy, my fiancee, is pregnant!.

  so it happened a couple of years before we were planning it, before we could even get married, before i've finished my postgraduate degree -- but so what?

  we're financially sturdy enough to pull it off, i'll be able to complete the degree and get a good job, and no amount of financial anxiety seems to offset the excitement i feel to be having a child.

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  thinkers wife

  Dedalus and Foxy,
  CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I am thrilled for you. Hope everything goes well and you get what you wish for!! Too cool!!
  TW
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  4

  Update on elder's visit

  by OrangeBlossom in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  last saturday i posted that the elders keep coming by to "encourage" us.

  but wouldn't you know it, sunday morning as i am trying to enjoy a nice breakfast with the family, the doorbell rang.

  pissed me off, but this time the husband was home so i told him to go talk to them and tell them that being raised in the borg, we know what we should be doing and don't need them to tell us, which he did.

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  thinkers wife

  Blossom,
  Your post really cracked me up!! Good you still can have a great sense of humor.
  You could always hide. That's what I used to do!!
  TW
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  12

  Fear and paranoia plague me again

  by LostMyReligion in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i really like being here on this board.

  i come to read it every day, and now i have the pleasure of reading others responses to my posts and commenting on theirs.

  but, i am beginning to feel a resurrgence on that fear and paranoia that kept me from speaking up before.. after posting my notes on the convention, i began to feel a little guilty for ridiculing them when i know my son belives (as a result of my teaching) so strongly, and when i know so many good sincere friends at the kh who also believe so.

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  thinkers wife

  LMR,
  I think we all go through this paranoia at one time or another. I also think there is a converse side to this looking at it through an active witness' eyes.
  When I was on my way out of the org., unbeknownst to my family. I was involved in some situations that were definitely in the category the Witnesses would call wrong doing, gross sin.
  In the meantime, there were some very good things happening in my life, which of course I shared with my Witness mother. She kept attributing these good things to Jehovah. It gave me pause for thought. Because I knew according to their rules I was definitely sinning, yet good things in abundance were still happening in my life. Perhaps it is just a matter of looking throught the other end of the telescope?
  TW
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  51

  Demonic sex

  by philo in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'm not being a pervert, really.

  i was just wondering whether there was a psychological explanation for why people (women, i think) experience sex, when there's nobody physically there.. there's a lot made of this in dubdom, so i'm thnking there couldbe a connection with the dub 'culture'.. just curious.. philo (honestly, but still a male)

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  thinkers wife

  LOL Joel,
  That is what Thinker says. No love-making: No paradise!
  Interesting pics Comf. I have a friend who is a white witch. Her pic depicts angels with women. Same thing if you believe the Societies teachings!!
  I think the artistry is beautiful.
  Somebody and LDH,
  Count me in. Been there done that. Usually when in bed. LDH, I think lots of women probably have the phenomenon, they just don't talk about it. But I could be wrong.
  If they haven't I feel sorry for them. Sorry L no info. on why or how it happens. Just does. But is it exquisite!
  TW
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  8

  those NOT raised in the truth

  by jurs in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was married with 2 small children (an adult) when someone came to my door.

  i can't figure out how i ever got invoved !!!

  i can completely see how one can be easily brainwashed being a child and raised as a witness, but i'm angry at myself more than the organization that i was so easily duped... i feel i lost 9 years of my life and missed out on so much for being stupid.

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  thinkers wife

  Jurs and all others,
  As a child who was raised in the "truth" I just want to say, I do not blame my parents in any way!! They did the best they could with what they had. And as a family, aside from the Witnesses, I have a lot of good memories.
  I try to look at the good things my parents gave me and ignore any of the negative things involved. I think most children grow up and think that way. I hope so anyway.
  They will probably remember the love you have lavished on them. Isn't that the most important thing despite any other circumstances involved?
  TW
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  205

  HELLO? HELLO? "ALL" SIGN IN???????

  by waiting in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  simon did away with the sex forum - so i must take the tradional route and post under "make new friends.

  " how mundane!.

  fyi ---- for all of us, please take the time to write a sentence or two about yourselves, and encourage new ones to do the same.

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  thinkers wife

  Welcome to the board Eric, and anyone else I have missed because of the sheer influx of new ones!!
  Thanks for sharing everyone!
  TW
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  6

  No Special Relationship

  by thinker in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the following case illustrates, in legal terms, how the wt feels about it's members:.

  http://www.courts.state.me.us/99me144r.htm.

  maine supreme judicial court .

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  thinkers wife

  Pom and Somebody,
  Thanks for the words of support. It took until I was thirty eight years old for me to call it what it was "rape". And to get over feeling guilty and dirty as if I were the one at fault!
  So sad what conditioned thinking can do to you if you let it!!
  Thinker and therapy have helped me overcome these feelings!! And this discussion board is a huge help!!
  TW
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  12

  You have three minutes - talk fast!

  by expatbrit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  alright, i'm fed up with the shit going all one way!.

  today i had my periodic phone conversation with the family back in the uk.

  as usual, they veered the conversation around to "the truth".. "did you go to the meeting?

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  thinkers wife

  Ex Pat,
  Unfortunately I have no specific suggestions. But if you come up with something that works please let us here know.
  I would love to make some inroads with my family!!
  TW